*Disclaimer: If you are struggling with depression or anxiety, or any chemical imbalance, this does not apply. I am speaking from my own personal experiences on being emotionally triggered from a typical baseline.
Have you ever had someone ask you a question, say or do something (directed at or completely separate from you – maybe you don’t even actually know the person in real life…) and you all of a sudden feel your face get flushed, your blood temperate start to raise, you want to hit that “unfriend/block” button sooooooo bad, and you‘re emotionally set back for some hours or even days??
Do you ever have those moments when someone says something to you and you turn into a different person, and it sends you into a spiral of being upset, paralyzed, frustrated?
Yeah, been there sis! 🙋🏻♀️
What are emotional triggers, exactly?
What are emotional triggers? They are those super-reactive places inside you that become activated by someone else’s behaviors or comments. When triggered, you may either withdraw emotionally and simply feel hurt or angry or respond in an aggressive way that you will probably regret later.
One of the biggest personal life triggers I had to work/blog through a few years ago was when I made the decision to leave a 13 year career in Special Education to stay home with my daughter:
“So, are you going to go back to work?”
“So you just stay at home now? What do you DO all day?”
I used to get sooooooo TRIGGERED by that.
Defensiveness, feeling misunderstood, undervalued, and so many other things.
I mean, not that I’m getting triggered again by reliving those moments…..but no one would EVER say to someone who makes the choice for themselves + their family to work outside the home as a mom – “Ohhhhh, so you’re going to go back to work???”
But I digress…
This is something I’ve been passionate about unpacking in my own life, because allowing unchecked triggers held me back from living out MY purpose fully.
I’ve allowed them to steal joy, momentum, self confidence and happiness in the past.
NO MORE! Say it with me ⬇️
#nomore #madeforMORE 👊🏻
It serves no one for you to get stuck and unable to hit the mark on YOUR purpose!
Your purpose isn’t for you after all, it’s for others…
And if you aren’t walking it out, others are being deprived of a blessing.
Emotional maturity and the ability to step back and analyze WHY you feel triggered and move through that quickly is important in life generally, but also specifically in the pursuit of SUCCESS.
I want you to read these examples, and note which have or would now trigger you:
- Someone questions what you do for a living
- What do you actually do???
- Someone questions your experience or integrity
- Refers to “Side hustle” when it’s your full time income or you’re working to make it that way
- Someone takes credit for something you did or played a big part in
- More followers, likes or comments
- Someone else rank advances faster than you
- Someone’s sales are higher on the leaderboard
- You read a post and KNOW it’s misleading or false information – maybe even from someone you know and look up to. And even though it doesn’t directly impact you, you’re triggered
- Someone says NO
- Someone steals your post. And copy/pastes it.
- Your upline doesn’t shout you out for a rank advancement
- Someone says you won’t make it in network marketing – maybe even a spouse
How these triggers can derail momentum
I’ve seen many a female online entrepreneur get triggered by jealousy, feelings of inadequacy or being undervalued/unseen…
Which have more to do with what they bring into their business from the past than what’s going on inside of it or with any other individual.
They quit before they give themselves a chance to get started, or hide in a corner feeling unsure and/or bitter.
Some see success for someone else, and then immediately go and sabotage themselves by killing their own energy with jealously.
They feel disrespected or undervalued and immediately let it affect their self worth and the way they show up.
But, they don’t know how else to be/react.
I hate that for others, as much as I hate/d when it’s comes up in my own life and I allow that derailment to happen..
That’s why I’m going to start talking about this stuff as it applies to online business building, especially in the Influencer and Network Marketing spaces.
If you’re a mama building a business in the online space and you’ve been emotionally triggered into jealousy, doubt, bitterness, or even anger….this is for you.
WHY WE DON’T WANT TO LET EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS TAKE OVER.
Allowing unchecked triggers holds us back from fully living our purpose .
They steal joy, time, momentum, self confidence and happiness.
It serves no one for you to get stuck and unable to hit the mark on YOUR purpose –
Your purpose isn’t for you after all, it’s for others..
And if you aren’t walking it out, others are being deprived of blessing 💯
Don’t want you to stay there because I know I wasted a lot of time there in my life, #inmyfeelings, when I could have been showing up powerfully for my audience, and team and moving forward toward my dreams
HOW TO OVERCOME TRIGGERS ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS.
These are opinions, advice and solutions that have worked for me. I’m not a life coach or a psychologist.
1.Recognize that it’s happening.
That you have been emotionally triggered by something. Write it down or journal about how you are feeling and why asap. I bet you’ll start finding patterns
2. Get to the source of it. What makes your emotions trigger so strongly?
I’ve learned that emotional triggers usually happen when one of our core values is challenged, questioned, or threatened.
One of my personal core values is Authenticity. So when I see someone acting inauthentically or they say something that I perceive as questioning mine – I can find myself triggered!
CORE VALUE Examples:
3. Here is a big secret, you don’t have to be friends with someone or allow them to be friends with you if they trigger you.
- Eliminate triggers with love and without disrespect/gossip/drama, if you aren’t yet equipped to move through them.
- Or, directly address the person and address how what they said or did made you feel and assume positive intent going in.
- If you find yourself wanting what someone else has or does, reach out and connect with them. Don’t allow it to make you feel jealous or inadequate. Get CURIOUS AND CONNECTED
4. You need to get clear on and OWN YOUR DECISIONS
This is for those of you who get triggered into shame, retreat, and anger when someone asks why you’re involved with a pyramid scheme!
Sometimes we’re triggered, because we just haven’t quite decided we are IN or we don’t have full belief.
Then, when someone says something we are on shaky emotional ground.
5. Level up!
Maybe it’s imposter syndrome that triggers you, because someone who said something to trigger you really did see a weakness in business or character. Or the person you find yourself triggered by because they are successful may actually have spent the time/resources to do BETTER.
In that case, level up your own skillset, mindset and integrity to match who you want to be.
Maybe you DO need to acquire more skills and do things differently to prove you CAN be successful to someone who triggered you by saying they can’t.
You got this
6. Remember that nothing can be taken that has your name on it if you’re working for it and showing up authentically
Someone can try and copy you, but they can’t be you.
You are the only you and the only one who can serve your purpose – your purpose has to do with other Ana not you. Get yourself out of your way!!! Seek your purpose, own it, phone a trusted friend or coach who can talk you off the ledge real quick.
If you’d like to learn even more about overcoming emotional triggers, please checkout my video in Elevate Academy.
I hope these 6 tips are helpful to you the next time you’re faced with an emotional trigger!